Real Life Rapunzel

Heartache sucks.

It sucks to be rejected. But it sucks even more to watch a crush fall for someone else, before you feel like you have a solid friendship, post-relationship clarification. And when you already know and love that someone else as a dear friend, there is not even the chance of consoling yourself redirecting your pain by hating them.

And when you’re a positive thinker with powerful intuition that tells you the person with the amazing energy that you have fallen for is important in your life, you can’t write them off and label them an idiot for not falling for you right back. You just have to feel the pain.

It’s confusing.

Deep spiritual connection. Check.

Common values. Check.

Super fun to be around. Check.

Beautiful person. Check.

Thinks you’re completely awesome. Check.

Wants to kiss you and spend all kinds of time with you…..damn.

heart drawing with patches and cracks

Still good!

What is this chemistry that somehow doesn’t hit the mark?  I was talking to a friend recently about soul mates, and we revisited the idea that we have many soul mates. People we are meant to learn from, support and be supported by, be challenged by, and just click with. When that person is of the gender you’re not attracted to, it’s pretty easy to accept the relationship however it looks. You become fast friends and get down to the business of being good friends.

But when they are of the gender you are attracted to, and you’re single, and you’re longing for intimacy and connection and romance, a whole new element gets thrown in the mix. How do you know whether you have found a fast friend or the love of your life?

I don’t have an answer for this one. At least not a painless one. You just have to say or do something to find out. And you have to risk getting hurt. Love takes real courage, no matter how you cut it. There will be misunderstanding and conflict whether it works out this time or not.

I suppose the first step is understanding that assigning a destination for your feelings never helps anything.

And how, if you find out the object of your affection isn’t thinking of keeping you warm at night, do you reconcile your feelings that feel like they belong in the romance box?

I think this is the part where you truly find out how much you love yourself. You find out how strong your purpose is, whether or not you know what it is.

When you know you have to go on because you have something important to do.

When you start thinking about how unimaginably great the next possibility is likely to be.

That’s when you know that the foundation work you’ve been doing is solid. The voices that used to tell you there was something wrong with you are quieter. Your confidence to ride out the pain and…yes, I’m going to say it…learn something about yourself from it, is stronger.

What have I learned about myself this go around?

I think the main thing is how important love is in my life. I used to lock myself in a tower of busyness and “I gotta” and “shoulds”. It was built on bricks of things that are “more important” than my personal love life. It was also built on thinking I needed to be strong when I really just wanted to cry out my loneliness. It was built on a belief that I can’t have the kind of love I want in my life. And Rapunzel is the part of me that just wants to hold hands and gaze into the eyes of my soul mate. The part of me that the Witch visits from time to time, to make sure she’s ok, but doesn’t let out into the world to sing. She’s the same part who goes on adventures and takes risks when given the chance. And she’s the part who understands what to say when someone else is hurting.

For all the Rapunzels out there, knowing they have some important impact to make on the world, whether that’s with your heart or with your gifts (I know, I know, same thing) I invite you to be brave and get out of your tower.

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair. Because it’s time for you to get out of that damn tower and share your beautiful heart with the world.

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Kelly Rauch specializes in Reiki Enriched Coaching, helping people become their best selves. Her clients experience clarity, alignment, insight and deep relaxation. Let her help you learn to trust yourself and access a lifetime of helpful information. Visit www.greenphoenixcoaching.com.

Life Lessons from Candy Land

I love games. Not the kind where you manipulate humans to get what you think you want. The kind where you play with colorful pieces on a colorful board to reach an arbitrary goal and interact with other human beings. I love them when you can alternate between cheering for yourself and strategizing how to get ahead, and being glad that someone else is winning because you know they’re having a good time. I want everyone to win, which is why I really like collaborative board games where all the people work together to keep a big nasty from bringing darkness and destruction to the world. This was all put into sharp focus as I was playing Candy land with my new friend Jessica. (she’s 5)

I won.

Every time.

We played something like five games.

I was excited about the first win. Each subsequent time I hoped and prayed for Jessica to win.

But there is no strategy in Candy Land. It’s all luck.

Candy Land Playing Pieces

Everyone know who they are? Great! Let’s go on an adventure!

I could see her grasping at ways to get ahead. Crankyness ensued.

So that’s lesson one.

Competition is pointless in games of chance.

Lesson two.

It’s more fun to work together on something so that we both win.

Lesson three.

It’s important that everyone is a different color so we know who is who. That is to say…be your unique self. People want to know who you really are. Don’t be afraid to be green. It’s not easy being blue or red or yellow either.

Lesson four.

Remember who you are. If you get ahead because you’re acting like someone else, it doesn’t help. You’ll have to go back and start over when you realize you weren’t being you.

Lesson five.

Look where you’re going. There are a lot of twists and turns on this game board. It’s very easy to get lost  and be unsure of which direction you should be going because you were looking backwards.

Lesson six.

Your integrity will be tested. You will make mistakes. You will try to make them right. You will be tempted to take the easy path of pleasing someone. But even if it is much, much harder to do, it is always better to hold on to your values, explain your mistake clearly, and why you need to make the hard choice, and do the honorable thing.

When you’re not sure what is most important to you, it’s much easier to get off track. When you are busy all the time, it is much easier to miss these lessons. Slowing down is the only way to really learn them.

Jessica finally won the last game we played. I am so grateful!

twisty playing board

You’re always changing direction. So look where you’re going!

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Kelly Rauch specializes in Reiki Enriched Coaching, helping people become their best selves. Her clients experience clarity, alignment, insight and deep relaxation. Let her help you learn to trust yourself and access a lifetime of helpful information. Visit www.greenphoenixcoaching.com.

Invisible Walls

“When are you going to get married?”

My niece asked me that this weekend. She’s four. I reacted very differently than I have in the past. Children and well-meaning family and acquaintances seem to ask this question surprisingly often. That and…”Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” Why are these questions even a thing?

Past reactions have included frustration, confusion, annoyance, and self-doubt. I’ve dated, sure, but the bulk of my adult life has been partner-free. And it’s not for lack of desire or initiative. So while my answer was polite or self-deprecating on the outside, my emotions would be roiling on the inside. “How should I know? Don’t you think if I knew, I would fix it? “  I guess sometimes people aren’t in romantic relationships because they don’t want them. That’s never been the case for me. And it’s never been something I felt I could or should control.

This time, I just answered with simple truth – “I don’t know!”

I’m grateful for how far I’ve come – that I can just be ok with my single status. It’s not a constant state though. The question still pops up when I’m tired or hungry or lonely.

What’s wrong with me?

On the grand scale, obviously, the answer is NOTHING. But we attract people or don’t attract people based on our energy, so something has definitely been off. If I know what kind of relationship I want, and the kind of person I desire, and I do my very best to be that kind of person and be love and loving…where’s the love of my life?

And for that matter, if I’m getting such great compliments on my abilities and I’m out there being the change I want to see in the world, where are the clients?

I may have an answer.

I have beliefs about what an attractive partner is like.

I have beliefs about what an effective spiritual leader or life coach is like.

I am TRYING to be the kind of person I think of as an attractive partner.

I am TRYING to be the kind of person I think of as an effective spiritual leader or life coach.

What if all of my beliefs about who I want to be are completely wrong? It’s not that I’m being

No walls between you and your natural state. This is the place to heal.

ingenuine. I’m behaving in ways that feel comfortable to me, and that I find attractive in other people.

What if though?

WHAT IF I can shed some more layers and reveal more of me? What if that stuff that I’m not even willing to acknowledge right now…that I don’t even know I’m hiding…what if that is the stuff that makes life, love, outdoor healing space

work….. effortless?

What if I’ve just walled off my heart – making it seem cold and unapproachable – when in reality it thrives on freeflowing interaction with other human be

ings and all I want to do is give love?

What if thinking about how I want to be…is preventing me from really being me?


It’s easy to help others through this process. It’s hard to do by yourself. I’ve got great folks I’m working with on

these questions. If you’re asking these same questions, don’t do it alone. Call me.

Want to use this article on your blog or website? Please include the full bio below.


Kelly Rauch specializes in Reiki Enriched Coaching, helping people become their best selves. Her clients experience clarity, alignment, insight and deep relaxation. Let her help you learn to trust yourself and access a lifetime of helpful information. Visit www.greenphoenixcoaching.com.

The Secret Conflict

Anything is possible.

I have heard this my whole life…side by side with limitations. You can’t drive that far alone. You have to prove yourself first. It takes time to succeed. You need to pay your dues.  You can’t have everything you want.

In my small child’s brain the cases where it was truly important to prove myself first got mixed up with the cases where I could just start making things happen. And I hung onto that belief into adulthood.

I’m finding that the better question is – what do you really believe is possible?

You can have anything you want. The key is, true desire. And belief…faith in that desire. Faith in yourself.

What core beliefs are driving your decisions? What don’t you see about yourself, that is keeping you small.

How do you truly become an empty vessel for spirit to use you for the highest good of all?

Who are you to be a servant of the highest good of all anyway? That’s a pretty tall order.

The thing is, you don’t know how much power you really have to influence others. When you hold a baby, all of your energy is absorbed by that baby. They empathically pick up on that energy and use it to learn what they need to do to survive. And those lessons, if we don’t retrain ourselves, are permanent. We are all born with the ability to connect with others on this energetic level, and tune in to them. Some of us lose it. It comes so naturally that we’re not even aware it exists. So we don’t practice. Some of us get to cultivate it. We learn to protect ourselves from unhelpful or negative energy. Some of us have to relearn how to connect because we automatically protected ourselves by shutting down our abilities.

We are all naturally interdependent with one another. When you decide that it is time for you to pick up and repair your part of the web, to reclaim your role as a leader in service to the highest good, it strengthens the whole, which magnifies your power and influence.

When is it time for you to reclaim your role?

When you see your repetitive patterns, and you are bored hearing yourself tell the same old story about living your dreams, without making them manifest.

When you still feel like you don’t fit in, even though you have friends and career success, and it sucks, because as a grown adult, you still feel like that gawky teenager.

When you know there is something holding you back, and you just can’t figure out what it is.

When you notice yourself getting goosebumps or nodding involuntarily while you’re reading this.

How do you repair your part of the web?

Clean house. Sort through the strands of silk and discard the broken ones, so that all that is left is quality thread, with which you can build really beautiful connections. A fabric, if you will. A fabric of Feelings. Beliefs. Priorities. Values.

This work is the hardest work you will ever do in your entire life. You will probably have to continue doing it for the rest of your life. And it will go faster, be far less painful, and you will gain so much more with help.

Often, you recognize the need for this cleanout when you’re bored with your life, or you feel like you should understand what you want better, and how to get it, but you don’t know how. Sometimes you just have that flash of insight that it’s time to clean out, and you’re not sure where to start. Or you’re afraid that you’re just getting on a treadmill of hard work without any real progress. What you need is to feel like when you’re doing this work, it’s going somewhere, it serves a higher purpose, it won’t always feel like this.

That is my specialty.

Wrap up those goosebumps in a cozy blanket and get in touch with me now to see if I’m the one to help you.

Love,

Kelly

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Kelly Rauch specializes in Reiki Enriched Coaching, helping people become their best selves. Her clients experience clarity, alignment, insight and deep relaxation. Let her help you learn to trust yourself and access a lifetime of helpful information. Visit www.greenphoenixcoaching.com.

What Personal Growth Looks like and What it doesnt ~ Part 2

click here for part 1!

I promised to tell you how I learned to accept compliments. Here it is. Stay with me here. The path twists around a bit, even if it looks linear.

Looking back, and even sometimes in the moment, my growth path looks to me like a series of filters being removed from my field of vision. A big one was every time I realized that the people I thought were so cool, so confident, so popular, so fit, so beautiful, were just as self conscious as I was. One time I even felt like I won the “top five” game when I was on the list of someone on my list! A whole new world of possibilities! (The top five game is shallow and silly and usually does nothing to raise the self-esteem. It’s all about objectification of people. I don’t recommend it, actually.)

Another one was when I realized just WHO the people were complimenting me, that I didn’t believe.

My friends.

Kelly's Front Yard Iris

You’re a beautiful, unfolding flower. Please love all your parts!

Do you know what a friend means to me? Just about everything. It means I like them. I respect them. I probably think they have good taste. I trust them. I depend on them.

Ok then. Why in the world wouldn’t I believe them?

Absolutely no reason. So I decide to start believing them. Simple as that. What’s not simple is letting this practice get deep. FULLY receiving the compliment DEEP in my heart. Those walls take some time to tear down. It’s squishy and raw in there.

What else?

I looked around at people I liked who did unconventional things and pulled off.

In my lifetime, I have more than one friend at or over 300 pounds who dress like either a skinny twenty something or a badass diva. They just exude great energy and feminine power. They own their bodies like the glorious, curvy temples they are. I wanted that confidence. I wanted that sensuality.

So I learned from them. I saw confidence “in spite of” something society uses to bring women down. Well hell. If they can be confident in their body no matter what the status quo is, so can I! I decided to take it on.

Later I found out what their insecurities were. Too late though. I had learned a lesson and I wanted to keep it! So I just reflect back to them how awesome I think they are whenever possible. I mean, come on. If I think they’re so awesome regardless of their body shape, and sometimes because of it, what right do I have to bring myself down about mine? That’s right. None.

And finally (for now, anyway) I heard women who were skinny, beautiful and popular with boyfriends or spouses and neat careers and families – in short, everything we’re supposed to want – express envy over something I had that they didn’t. Or that they didn’t think they had.

It’s ok. Really. You can take off the mask!

What?!

You’ve achieved everyIt’s ok. Really. You can take off the mask!

thing you’re supposed to and you still don’t think it’s enough? You still have this idea that you’re an awkward teenager? Seriously? The body and mind dysmorphia in this country is out of control.

That’s when I knew on a deep deep level that achieving all the stuff and things would not make me happy. That’s when I decided that I WILL DECIDE what it means to be happy. (And you know what? It has a lot to do with relaxation, reiki, helping people realize their true selves and their dreams, sharing fun experiences and TEACHING people to do just what I’ve done. You may sense a theme as my work evolves!)

These are some of the layers that helped me trust myself. And the more I trust myself, the more I trust other people. And the more I trust other people, the more I trust what they tell me about me. We’re all just reflections of each other. Look around and make some decisions about where you want to stand, and with who.

Love,

Kelly

 

Want to use this article on your blog or website? Please include the full bio below.


Kelly Rauch specializes in Reiki Enriched Coaching, helping people become their best selves. Her clients experience clarity, alignment, insight and deep relaxation. Let her help you learn to trust yourself and access a lifetime of helpful information. Visit www.greenphoenixcoaching.com.

Jump In…You’re Fine

We’re trained to think we need huge amounts of training in order to accomplish great things and follow our passions.

We’re trained to believe we’re never enough.

Anxiety is epidemic as we continuously worry about what others think of us, of what we do and the things we create.

This worry does not help us be creative or productive. It does not help us make the connections and the friendships that matter most to us. It does not help us find love.

What people really want is connection. Friendship. Love.

And I don’t mean the kind of love that gets you into the 2.5 WPF club (2.5 kids and a white picket fence). I mean the kind of love that connects you with a friend you can call to celebrate a new breakthrough or listen to that same friend crying out their sadness.

Something else everyone wants is to easily slip into that creative flow where they are certain what they are doing is a good idea. This happens whether they are homemaking or composing a symphony.

When you are in your creative flow you are your most interesting, your most attractive and your happiest. This is where people are drawn to you to help you or just be with you. This is where you will find everything you want.

Worrying about whether it’s ok to be creative in this way doesn’t serve you at all. Worrying about whether it’s a good idea or a bad idea does not serve you. It’s ok to be creative. Period.

Is it a good idea?
Does it make you happy?Four women jumping in the water.
Yes?
It’s a good idea.

Is it harming anyone else?
No?
It’s a good idea.

The thing that you want to get perfect before you start it is really a good idea now.

I’ll say that again.

It’s a good idea now.

Action is the only thing that will dispel the worry and doubt.

What action should you take?

Start with talking about your idea, doing the first steps, or both at once if that makes sense for your project. Talking to people about what you want to do gets you real time feedback about your idea. It’s the ultimate in immediate gratification. Just be choosy about the people you talk to and be sure to come from a place of genuine curiosity, respect for their opinion, and care about the people you want to serve.

They’ll tell you what they want.

When it aligns with your brilliant idea, you know you have found the people you can best serve. Just give them what they want and charge them for it, and suddenly you’re making a living doing something you love to do.

It doesn’t have to be perfect.

It just has to be simple and elegant enough to do right now.

So go ahead…jump in. You’re really just fine.

Want to use this article on your blog or website? Please include the full bio below.


Kelly Rauch specializes in Reiki Enriched Coaching, helping people become their best selves. Her clients experience clarity, alignment, insight and deep relaxation. Let her help you learn to trust yourself and access a lifetime of helpful information. Visit www.greenphoenixcoaching.com.

How To Heal The World (A Give and Take Guide)

by Christine Kane

how to heal the world christine kane

 

What did you do when you heard the news about Newtown, CT?

Maybe you read the details and wept as the horror sunk in.

Maybe you asked how this could ever happen.

Maybe you were outraged.

Maybe you were grief-stricken wondering how those moms and dads would cope.

Maybe all of the above.

At some point, however, you probably did what so many others did.  You got still.  You sent love. You meditated. You prayed.

Events like this can leave us feeling helpless, wishing there were more we could do.

But events like this can also strengthen our resolve to live in service.  (And yes, this is every bit as powerful as if you could be there and hold those families in your own arms.)

See, I believe many people look at “service” in the same way they look at “courage.” It has to be big, heroic and eventful.  Not true at all.

Service, much like courage, often comes down to your everyday “hey, no one even noticed that” choices.  Waiting for BIG heroic acts can be a convenient way never to serve because those opportunities rarely come!

In fact, many of my biggest moments of courage – of saying yes, stepping up, choosing not to listen to the negative voices – are often quiet and sometimes even lonely.  Ditto with service.  Service is HOW you live.

And as so many visionaries have stated in some way or another:  A healthy you is the best service you can give to heal this world.

This means that if you want to heal the planet, then there’s some GIVE and there’s some TAKE.

Let’s start with the GIVE:

GIVE your passion, your enthusiasm, and your talent.

Your passion speaks to you through your joy, your heart and your body.  When you love doing something, that’s your passion, that’s the spark that feeds you.  It’s what you were meant to be doing.  People want to be around you when you’re in this high level of energy. Find a way to do it more, to infuse your life with it, and tap into it regularly.

GIVE up complaining, whining, blaming, gossip, and excuses.

Mind you, this is not about being a nice person. It’s not about being noble. It’s not even about loving your neighbor as yourself.

It’s about being selfish (in a good way!).

Here’s the deal:  Your attention is way too powerful and creative to waste on splattering it all over the place with unproductive activity.  Honor the power of your attention by experiencing the space that is created when you don’t fill it with negativity and addictive behaviors. This alone will change your world instantly.

GIVE yourself support.

When we build something or start a new path, we often expect ourselves to go it alone. And then we wonder why we couldn’t “pull it off.” It is not weak to ask for or invest in support.

Athletes get it right from the start. Their system is set up with coaches and team support from day one.  We all need that level of support from mentors and teammates. Find a way to get support in creating anything from new higher-level mindsets to a business based in your purpose and passion.  If you’re going to heal the planet, you need to keep on top of your own health as well! You are not meant to do this alone!

GIVE thanks.

Your life situation can change on a dime. Be grateful for everything in it right now. Wake up in the morning and think on your blessings until tears form in your eyes. Because THAT is how blessed you are to have this amazing moment.

GIVE presence.

When I coach people – even when I’m being all strategic and laying out marketing plans – I am keenly aware of my full presence to them and their business.  My presence is the biggest gift I can give to anyone. And that includes clients, friends, family and pets.

It’s so easy to forget the awesome power and service of your full presence in our world right now. We are supremely distracted. That is the norm.  Make a conscious choice to turn it around and be fully engaged with your clients, customers, friends and family.  (And no, this is not always easy to do! It’s a practice!)

Now, let’s talk about the TAKES…

TAKE responsibility.

Take 100% responsibility (not blame!) for your results, your actions, your inactions, your income, your outcomes, your health, your wealth, and your life circumstances.

As long as you see yourself at the mercy of anything or anyone, you will remain in a place of powerlessness.  Again, this is not about blame. This is about choice. The choice to call your power back where it belongs.

TAKE stock.

One of the indirect results of any disaster is the opportunity to review your life situation.  Often, you hear stories about people who suddenly recognized that life was too short to live so unhappily – choosing to quit jobs, to move out of the city, reassess their relationships.

You don’t have to wait until things reach a critical point before you take stock of your life. Make it a habit to regularly sit down, be with yourself and ask yourself what you want, if you are happy with how you spend your time, if your relationships are strong or just a place to gossip.  Go on a retreat, take a weekend to write in your journal and read inspiring books.  Step away from your life in order to look at it more deeply.

TAKE it off.

What are you still settling for in your life, in your surroundings, in your schedule?  What’s draining you?  What’s not a “hell yes?”

Be ruthless in answering these questions. And then, be ruthless in letting go. Take it off and feel the space that’s created from not settling for excess ‘maybe’s in your life. Make your life one big YES – and live from that place.

TAKE chances.

People who don’t create or serve are the ones who wait until they get it perfectly first. They wait until they are sure that no one will judge them. They wait until they’re sure they won’t fail.  Which boils down to this:  They wait.

Imperfect Action is the way to go.  In fact, when you’re about to try something new, insist that you do it badly!  :-)   The experience of taking risks and facing fears is the ultimate healer for all kinds of emotional dis-eases.

TAKE it in.

Being able to receive is crucial to success in anything. It is also crucial to service.  We need to acknowledge our successes, celebrate our milestones, say “thank you,” charge what we are worth, and breathe in our blessings. Otherwise, we run on fumes, reaching for fuel from unhealthy sources.

Your happiness is a key element of the healing of this planet. If you place yourself at the bottom of the priority list, well, girlfriend, you’re not living in service. Learn to TAKE IN the gifts and the gratitude of this precious moment and let people celebrate you for the powerful being that you are.

TAKE a moment.

Prayer is powerful. It works.  Your energy and your intention can indeed heal the planet.

Take a moment right now and sit quietly.  Call upon the light that is you and smile as it comes into your awareness.  For one full minute, send that light to the people in Newtown, CT. Surround them with love, knowing that we are all connected.

And then tell me…

How are you going to deepen your level of true service in your business or work from this moment on?…

 

***

Christine Kane is the Mentor to People Who are Changing the World. She helps women and men Uplevel their lives, their businesses and their success. Her weekly Uplevel You eZine goes out to over 20,000 subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a FREE subscription at http://christinekane.com.

TO SEE HUNDREDS MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE?

See Christine’s blog at ChristineKane.com/blog.

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Kelly Rauch specializes in Reiki Enriched Coaching, helping people become their best selves. Her clients experience clarity, alignment, insight and deep relaxation. Let her help you learn to trust yourself and access a lifetime of helpful information. Visit www.greenphoenixcoaching.com.

What personal growth looks like and what it doesn’t ~ Part 1

I used to deflect compliments.

Now I receive them.

I used to read birthday cards with inspiring sayings on them and think, “oh, that’s nice.”

Now I assume the person who sent it REALLY MEANS what is written. That they spent the time to choose something they meant.

This is personal growth on a really deep level…  But it’s subtle.
Personal growth is packaged as this intangible and hard to recognize result of dealing with difficult people and difficult situations.
You got through it! Good for you! You’ve grown!

Really?
What did you learn?
How have you changed how you think or feel or behave?

Maybe a whole bunch. Or maybe you’re just more stressed out than you were before, and you can say you got through something.
And lots of times, you don’t even recognize that something helped you grow until years later.

As Gandalf just reminded me in The Hobbit –

Looking ahead shows you opportunities and obstacles for where you want to go.
Remembering to look behind shows you the dangers you got through and what you learned from it ~ or Trolls Surprised

I find it particularly enlightening to spend time with people much younger than me. There are so many things I didn’t know about myself and about the world just ten years ago. Seeing how far I’ve come makes the “plenty more to learn” less daunting.

One of the most valuable things I’ve learned is to be gentle with myself while I’m learning, to keep a beginner’s mind. It’s still hard for me, but at least I recognize it when it comes up and I can get back into it when my friends recognize it and point it out.

Here’s an example. How long did it take you to learn to write?

Years.

And you were really bad at it for a long time. But you still got the message across.
The learning process stays the same. You don’t just pick up on something and get awesome at it right away.

You practice.

Every. Day.

(Know what I’m learning right now? How to get an eZine out consistently on the day I promise – Wednesday. Also blogging regularly and with a consistent style and message.)

So how did I learn to receive compliments?

That’s next week.

What are your growing edges? What do you wish you knew how to do that would make your life more wonderful? Tell me in the comments or send me a message. I’ll feature your question in a blog post and answer it myself or find someone who can!

Want to use this article on your blog or website? Please include the full bio below.


Kelly Rauch specializes in Reiki Enriched Coaching, helping people become their best selves. Her clients experience clarity, alignment, insight and deep relaxation. Let her help you learn to trust yourself and access a lifetime of helpful information. Visit www.greenphoenixcoaching.com.

Seriously Silly

You know what? Today I want to take yourself less seriously.

No. Really.

You have super big important dreams. They could change the lives of millions of people. Most importantly, they could change your life. And my guess is you’re trying to do the impossible. Maybe not impossible overall, but you’re likely splitting your focus a lot of the time and trying to get everything done perfectly in a short amount of time.

Let go of perfection.

Laugh at your ideas.

It’s a path to new insights and more fun.Kelly's silly side

It’s all about making people’s lives more wonderful, right? So laugh at it!

I want to share with you a silly and heartwarming video by a musician I admire. His entire audience is on YouTube. As an independent musician, he’s gotten two singles in the charts with the help of his audience. And he’s got a goal to get a song to number one in the UK charts. It’s really just a means to an end because the more exposure a song gets, the more exposure future songs will get, and the more he can have control of his music career, because he doesn’t need to sign with a label.

I think he’s smart and funny and he has interesting opinions. His music is poppy and lighthearted most of the time. He uses mostly electronic instrumentation. Not usually my favorite style. And it’s still really good. It makes me happy. I like that he tells stories with his songs. I like that he sings about things that most people wouldn’t think of as “sellers”. Most admirably, he’s taking something really serious – his music career, his livelihood, and attempting something huge with a song that’s just silly.

And his goal is to sell enough songs on December 16th to donate Thirty Thousand Pounds to Save the Children. That’s serious dough.

Here it is. (Careful, there’s a bit of a surprise at 2:08. Best not to watch this at work or in front of impressionable eyes the first time.)

Alex Day – Stupid, Stupid

Go ahead and watch it.

I’ll wait.

Some simple and important lessons here, right?! Spend some time being silly with your family, or chosen family. Laughter moves energy like nothing else. We’re all a little stupid sometimes. So just focus on the “I Love You” and repair your relationship with yourself .

Getting silly doesn’t make you less credible. It makes you a human being who is complex and interesting. You don’t have to be serious all the time.

Where do you find a good laugh?

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Kelly Rauch specializes in Reiki Enriched Coaching, helping people become their best selves. Her clients experience clarity, alignment, insight and deep relaxation. Let her help you learn to trust yourself and access a lifetime of helpful information. Visit www.greenphoenixcoaching.com.

Tools for the Journey: a tarot course review

I love tools. Tools are amazing.Tarot Ace of Swords

I’ve done a lot of things in my lifetime. I’m still pretty young, but I’ve packed a lot into my life. More than most people twice my age.

Something important that I’ve learned from this – that I apparently needed A LOT of repetition to learn – is that not only is it important to have the right tools for the job, it is also important that they be quality and in good repair. So often, we’re given inferior tools when we’re just starting out, because they cost less and we’re not sure we want to invest yet because we might not keep doing the thing. But when you get good tools – in proper working order and made well, learning is much easier and more fun. Also, while teaching yourself something can be really rewarding, it’s a very good idea to invest in a good teacher to get started right.

Among the many things I’ve tried is reading Tarot Cards. My tool? A cheap deck and book package from one of the big box book stores where I liked the art, even though it was simple. The minor arcana were just pips; about as effective in evoking meaning as a regular deck of cards. The court cards and major arcana weren’t very evocative either. Also, I didn’t know what I was doing, so I was pretty stuck on reading from the little book it came with. Not really a problem for playing around, just not very effective when I actually needed some insights.

The Tarot is a great tool for thinking through decisions and delving into your own subconscious to see what useful things come up. Pictures are essential to that equation.

So when Eliza Fayle of Silver & Grace asked for folks to take her Tarot course and review it, I jumped at the chance to be taught by a grounded and practical expert. What I found is a simple course with few working parts – the better to keep it functioning easily. The basics are laid out logically. The Ladies, the Gents, the Travelers, etc. This arrangement makes it easier for me to see relationships between cards that come up and remember the fundamental meanings in relation to each other. The difference between Judgement and Temperance, for example, while both relate to balance, there are subtle differences between the two.

The assignments focused on me doing the work; trusting my intuition about what is plain to see on the cards and how that relates to the question. Eliza had me focus on small chunks of the deck at a time, which made it easier. I even did readings with only smaller chunks of the deck.

That seemed strange to me.

Isn’t this about some magical process involving this whole system of a certain number of cards used all together?

Nope.

This is about using imagery to spark my imagination. This is about getting to know imagery better, so I can more quickly identify the relevant thoughts from the chaos in my head.

The hardest part was sitting down with enough time to do the journal-like assignments. Keeping a consistent journal was never my strength. And while Eliza gave me a fairly short estimate of the weekly time commitment, it takes me a little longer to get into the thoughtful space and get what I want to say down on paper. And once I DID get to the space where I could do that – I had a lot to say.

To myself.

Tarot from this approach is an excellent way to self-coach. By now I’ve read enough books, both fiction and non-fiction, and worked with some coaches, so I’ve gathered a good deal of information about how I want to be in the world and what I want to say to myself when I’m getting off track. It just takes a little bit of structure and time to pull out the relevant bits in an objective way.

Given this structure and time, I can play with ideas. I can make realistic plans for next steps, considering several elements of a complex question.

And when I am ready to consider more pieces of the puzzle, I have a reliable tool to come back to and refresh, review and rearrange the question I’m working on.

Tarot 3 and 8 of pentaclesIt was nice to check in on the facebook group and read what others’ interpretations were for each lesson. The group also gave me some accountability to get the next assignment done, as they were expecting to hear from me, and I didn’t want their answers to influence mine, so I had to do my assignment before I read theirs.

Eventually, other commitments caught up to me and I had to make peace with going at my own pace. Each time I got back to doing the next lesson, though, I was impressed with how easy it was to come back to – especially if I wanted to review past lessons. We stayed completely away from the little book, so I’m now confident I can do satisfying readings for myself simply with what I see in front of me. I can think about symbolism and add to my knowledge slowly with a firm foundation of trust in myself.

Eliza had me work with the Rider-Waite deck. The art, aesthetically, isn’t my favorite. But since it’s simple, without the flash and drama in many new decks, it just shows you what the card means. I found its clean imagery to be really helpful with discovering layers of symbolism in the cards. I’ve since heard about the Universal Waite deck. Same drawings, but taking advantage of modern coloring techniques. That one is going on the wish list!

So Tarot is not a magic bullet. It’s not some secret, mystical cult that only the chosen few can participate in.

But it IS magic. Take your brain, your imagination, a focused question, and some clear imagery, mix with a little uninterrupted quiet time, and you can make your own style of magic. Your brain is capable of amazing things. If you sit down, quiet the mind and give your attention to one thing, stay in the uncomfortable creative place of not knowing what the solution will look like, and let the thoughts wander around and form different combinations until they make sense to you; you can end up with something remarkable.

“But I don’t know if that’s the right solution. I just made it up.”

Yes.

“But who am I to just make up a solution from a deck of cards?”

Who are you not to?

Does it feel right? Why not go with it?

Besides. What business do you have undervaluing your ability to make things up that serve your highest good? Trust yourself.

If you can’t do that, do you trust me?

No? (OkayThanksBye. : )

Yes?

Cool. Then I’m telling you that you can come up with the right solution for you. I give you permission to find some tools and make something up.

Go check out Eliza’s site, here to learn more about it. Her target demographic is women over 40, but I’m not one to avoid something of value just because I’m not in the target demographic. And the Tarot courses are by no means written specifically for that group. They’re just straightforward, practical lessons for learning to trust your intuition with a really cool tool.

Love,
Kelly

Want to use this article on your blog or website? Please include the full bio below.


Kelly Rauch specializes in Reiki Enriched Coaching, helping people become their best selves. Her clients experience clarity, alignment, insight and deep relaxation. Let her help you learn to trust yourself and access a lifetime of helpful information. Visit www.greenphoenixcoaching.com.